So I did take myself out to see Matthew Sweet at Yoshi's tonight. It made me feel old, to see him so old; and it made me feel young, to remember back when I was young and first bought Girlfriend, listened to it in college, played it on The Dynamic Groovy Music Hour.
But man, did he age. Not that I ever saw him live before, in younger days. And of course, the album featured in the show is 20 years old. People change in two decades. It just hurts a girl's heart to see it so obviously.
Still, me, I had a good time. The family of three that was sharing my table, who had never heard of Matthew Sweet before, probably not so much fun on their part. I would have felt bad, except that they were paying for it with a $150 gift card.
When I walked into my office building today, one of the security guards stopped me just before I entered the elevator bank. "Remember what we were talking about last week?" he asked. Last week: how life can be good, now all I need to do is find love in it and it would be perfect. "January will be your month," he said. I laughed and said we'd see. And that I would let him know on January 31st how it went.
Secret part of me hopes the man is right. It will bode well for the whole year.
I am looking forward to 2012. I feel like it should be a year of action. Like it will be a year of action.
And it will be a doing-away of words that aren't backed up by action.
The ride home was thinking about that, how actions speak louder than words, how empty words are when there's no follow up. I'm plenty guilty myself of speaking empty words, of back-pedaling when action is required. Just, to feel it thrown up at me, to have my soul ring empty with those empty words ... I want to be done with it. I say enough. (And yes, I understand how it looks to use words to decry words.)
Whatever. I'm not saying this the poetic way it was going on in my head as I walked from the 22 to the 24. But whatever.
Positive end (sorta) to this story: I'm excited to get my shit together. It's time.