Let's Up the Dose of NyQuil

Bachelor Number One in my Quest for Three Jews by Sunday made it easy, sort of.

I forced myself into the office on Thursday, in part because there was a meeting I wanted to make, and in part because I wasn't completely convinced that I was actually sick. You know how it is: you're feeling ick, but you can still see straight enough to iron your work pants, so you force yourself to go. I made it a whole hour-and-a-half before the mental fog sent me stumbling back to bed.

Stopped by the computer on the way between the medicine cabinet and bed, and must have left the JDate window open, because when I rolled out of bed five hours later, I had an email saying I'd missed an IM. A very brief, simple, almost sweet: "bonjoutr [sic]" (My profile says I speak some French.)

Okay, then. Points for trying, not everyone can spell French, anyway, and his profile read as ... well, not perfect, but a little zany. Couldn't hurt to try. So I type up a little note, along the lines of "my apologies for missing your message. You seem interesting ... yadda yadda". I bring up a question about where he lives - his profile says "San Francisco", but he mentions living in the "burbs". Basic stuff, hopefully opening up the lines of communication, whatever — hey, it's been a long time since I've actually had to do this. Exciting, I'm already one-third of the way to happiness for the week (or, at least, fulfilling my homework) and maybe I'll have a date for Sunday? Who knows, with this crazy internet dating phenomena?

Today I make it into work, stay the entire day (unproductively), jet back home for more pajamas and comfort bedding, and I have a message in reply. Eagerly, I log back into JDate — was my opening successful? What hints into the depths of his soul will I be getting with this response?

I'm sure most of you by now can see the set-up I'm leading you towards. But for those who can't, and those who don't know me, here's a little bit of information: I edit for a living (it says that in my profile). And I've been trawling the Internet for somewhere around 15 years now, starting back when there was still a little bit of etiquette to be picked up from those around before the Eternal September. I do my best to write in proper English, my grammar tends to be more-or-less correct, and using ALL CAPS is just rude, especially in an email. I like to give the impression that I give a shit when I write to someone.

So what's the entire response from my beau-to-be?

"LOL
SUNSET closer to SF STATE"

Wow. I totally need a cold shower now.

Next, please.