In for a Grumpy Time

The Good:

So, I'm going to New York at the end of June. I've got my plane ticket, I've got my PTO approved, and also been approved to work a week on the graveyard shift while I'm out there (I fly in June 20, leave July 1, and work the week of the 22nd). Just need to get my hotel room ... which is going to be by far the most expensive portion of the trip. Thank heavens for credit cards.

This trip is important in a couple ways. 1) I need to escape the West Coast for a bit, and indulge my inner Big City Girl. I've been missing New York like crazy this year, especially after Geof spent a few days out there and kept rubbing it in via text message about every 3 hours (slight exaggeration). 2) It's getting time to decide: do I stay or do I go? I said that last year's trip was the one to help me decide if I was going to move back to NYC, but that's not what ended up happening. I spent too much time beforehand gallivanting in Maryland and Boston, and didn't really spend much time enjoying the city the week I was there, on account of work.

The plan this time: Get there on a Friday, spend the nights starting on Sunday working for a week, and then still have about four days to just wander around the city and try to place myself in it. Is it what will make me happy?

I think this year, the choice will be a more important one to make, because I've finally formed my niche in the SF office, and now have to decide if I want to stick with it, or start over (almost) afresh in NY. I still won't be able to move back east for probably a year — my finances dictate that much. But if I have a goal in sight, I can start pulling back and living cheaply here with the aim of affording the move ... or I can start putting myself out more and trying to find a stable relationship and enjoyable friendships here.

The Grumpy:

I spent the weekend a mess. I spent a lot of the weekend feeling empty and trying to distract myself with the Mom-Worship Day, but still ended up calling out sick both Sunday and Monday nights ... and I'm thinking most of the sick stems from the disappointment, but who knows? I was fighting something off late last week, so perhaps it just decided to rear its ugly head Sunday afternoon. Bastard.

Added bonus, this coincides with my decision to lose weight before I go to NY — I've gained about 10 pounds, and need my work pants to fit before I head out there, dammit. Which means I started Atkins again yesterday, which means I'm going to be a crabby, carb-craving bitch for another week or so before my body balances out. It also means much less alcohol than I've been drinking lately ... so I'm not going to be sedated as much anymore, either. Grrr ... miss wine already.